Ahead of his Numbers collective's second Room One takeover on the 2nd April (full line up and details about entrance offere here) we asked Jackmaster to put together his own top 10 youtube clips; and all gumpf aside I dont think any of us expected him to come through so poignantly. We spent about an hour - the best hour of our office lives to date I might add - trying to YouTube beatmatch all of the below; an incredibly detailed summation of Jackmaster's all time favourite 90s commercial house bangers...
I used to be into some of the most un-cool dance music ever: Ministry Of Sound, Defected, Subliminal, Planet Perfecto... all that nonsense. Pretty whack right?
NO - ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Just to be clear, if you come see us at fabric or anywhere else, we are not going to be playing music like this, BUT if I'm at a party and there's a laptop with wi-fi in the house, then you're getting subjected to at least two hours of this shit, with Youtube rewinds and everything. Myself, Rustie and Hud Mo have long dreamt of putting on a one off party in Glasgow dedicated to tunes like this but we haven't had the guts yet.
Here are my top 10 selections of the un-coolest tracks in the history of dance music, in no particular order:
David Morales - Needin' U (Manifesto, 1998)
I fucking love this tune and it reminds me of staying up late and watching Ibiza Uncovered on ITV. I actually went to Ibiza when I was about 14. I was too young to get into the clubs but I was about the right age to get tanked up on San Miguel, so I used to buy myself a 40oz of the good stuff and sit outside the Space terrace listening to the reverberations of DJs like Pete Tong. Cool huh?
Armand Van Helden - You Don't Even Know Me (FFRR, 1999)
Aside from being the world’s best Ali G impersonator, Armand Van Helden has produced some of the hottest House tracks to date. I think maybe that battle he did with Fatboy Slim inside a boxing ring had a serious effect on his mental state because what he does these days is 99% cheese-ball pish, but in his old days he was a treasure to the scene! This is one of his more commercial moments but that's what this thing is about isn't it?
Alan Braxe & Fred Falke - Intro (Vulture, 2000)
I was always really into French House and after Daft Punk, Alan Braxe was top boy on the scene in my opinion. Spencer and I used to take a set of Gemini belt drive decks and hi-fi speakers up to our mates house parties, birthdays and the like every weekend and this was one of our big tunes. It would get rinsed at every available opportunity. Even our hardened hip hop pals who listened exclusively to ‘36 Chambers’ on repeat every day were feeling this one.
Robin S - Show Me Love (Champion, 1992)
Basically if you drop this at a house party and people don't lose their mind then you are fucked. It's time to call it a night and pass the headphones to the next DJ. I think there's about 4 or 5 versions of this track but the Geeneus remix aside you should always stick to the original. Even Steve Angello and Laidback Luke couldn't ruin this one for me which says a lot.
Paul Johnson - Get Get Down (Defected, 1999)
Before I had heard any of his more credible, Dance Mania era stuff, I was totally all over this banger by Paul Johnson (and that one he did for Crydamoure around the same time). Before the Sub Club got flooded and shut for 5 years, me and Spencer used to go to The Unders there (that's a night for kids to have borderline sex while listening to Trance) and they used to play this one a lot. We used to think we were right cool smoking cigarettes and drinking (juice) at the bar. Sometimes we'd even smoke a joint before we went in and that made us like the coolest kids in there by x 1,000,000. I do a banging mix of this with X-101 – ‘Sonic Destroyer.’
Yomanda - Synth & Strings (Manifesto, 1999)
I don't really have an interesting story about this one except that I taught myself how to mix with this tune and it's one of my all time personal favourites. Check the dude in the video haha. I bet he was gutted when he saw the kind of videos Eric Prydz gets away with these days.
ATB - Don't Stop (Ministry Of Sound, 1999)
Yeah, I know it sounds almost exactly the same as ‘9pm Till I Come’ but I actually think this follow up from ATB is better than its predecessor. I'm listening to it right now and I almost feel like I'm in Kevin & Perry Go Large; a much more accurate representation of my early teenage years than the likes of Human Traffic.
Joker recently admitted this tune was the main reason he started using the pitch bend technique in his music.
DJ Jean - The Launch (AM:PM, 1999)
ABSOLUTE BANGER ALERT! I dunno why I liked or like this tune so much, but I think it's that drum roll. DJ Jean might have found the best drum roll ever in this one actually. He proper nailed it. Jean played at the Sub Club Unders one time and he was honestly a pretty good DJ. No joke. Spencer got his autograph that night and I am still jealous.
Lock N Load - Blow Ya Mind (Pepper, 2000)
So as I said above we often used to head down to The Unders at the Sub Club where the DJs would play a lot of chart house and trance music. I wouldn't say it was the spot for posh kids but it was your middle class kind of party where your parents would pick you up outside and take you up the road (minus bird). Round the corner there was this fucking mental place called Archaos which was more like a rave and all the neds from rival teams used to go down and batter each other every week. Fucking amazing fun. If you were wearing a belt the bouncers would take it off you and put it into the cloakroom for you to collect upon exit. It was that bad. But I loved it (even though I’d be scared of my jaw getting taken off me half the time). Anyway, down at Archaos they used to play Happy Hardcore rather than House and this one used to tear the roof off the place. It's still a banger, I think. There's a bit at about half way through where the time signature changes and it slows right down. That bit was particularly amazing for doing "the bouncey".
Daft Punk - One More Time (Virgin, 2000)
‘Homework’ was the one album that single handedly got me into dance music. There was one summer where I'd say we listened to it all the way through more than three times a day. I was addicted to that CD and I still love it, so when the first single from their new record was announced I thought I was gonna burst with excitement. Spencer taped it off the radio and we listened to it off minidisc on repeat till it wore out. Old school.