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Breakfast Club: Toast

Toast. Warm bread. There’s no science to it. Lets face it, the real genius comes from the baker, but once you’ve splashed your cash on a loaf, much like a certain bodily appendage, it’s ‘what you do with it’ that really counts. Much like cereal, it does prove handy it times of urgent snackage, but it’s when you need that quick fix before you duck out to meet your old man from the tube station that you reach for the Kingsmill Wholemeal. Whether, like in the increasingly hard to spot pregnancy of Heather off of Eastenders, it’s being used to settle morning sickness, or as a early morning necessity there really are only 3 real ways you can maximise the potential of your crisp slice. *Please note: in the below I’m excluding Cheese as I’m not Dutch and no I don’t hanker after cold meats and dairy mutations for my first meal of the day. If I did this edition of Breakfast Club would simply be about the nutritional benefits of Cheese on Toast and the variations thereof (which for your info would undoubtedly be topped by the combo of Peanut Butter and Cheese... Extra Crunchy Skippy and a rather Mature Cheddar if you’re being extraneously nosey...). 1) Butter REAL BUTTER. None of this margarine, Bertolli, I Can’t Believe I Paid For This Because Its Inferred That It’s Partially Better For My Cholesterol When I’m Actually Only 25 And As Such Really Couldn’t Give Two Hoots About The State Of My Arteries As I’m Supposed To Be Too Busy Actually Living My Life And Waking Up In Strange Places With Odd Stains On My Trousers type of crap. Simple Fact. You can't beat the power and richness of it straight Butter on a crusty slice of Mother Macklow's homemade wholewheat. Best digested to: Smog – Rock Bottom Riser 2) Marmite It’s like Hitler probably said to a bunch of his dimwitted, slack willed cronies at some point during his ill fated attempt to inspire a nation into worldwide domination: “There’s two types of people in this world, them... and us.” Basically if you hate on it, I hate you. Best digested to: NWA – F*ck Tha Police 3) Raspberry Jam Other flavours, mixtures, recipes do pale in comparison. Thinly spread your butter, and add a plentiful gloop of the icky pinkerton/red stuff to a thick serving of slightly burnt Wholemeal bread. EFF WHY EYE: the burnt bits add some kind of truly intrinsic flavour needed to fully embrace and enjoy the jam experience. Best digested to: The Outhere Brothers - Don’t Stop (Wiggle Wiggle)
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